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The best way to choose a therapist is to talk with them on the phone, see if you get a positive feeling, and meet them in person. The most important part of the therapeutic relationship is the actual relationship. Because therapy can often include difficult topics, total comfort is not always the best marker for whether it’s a good fit. At the same time, you want to feel warmth, some level of ease, and a general sense of rightness–as with most relationships this can take a little time. It’s a good idea to have a few sessions and talk over any concerns with your therapist.

Sexual health encompasses many aspects of sexuality, but I like the World Health Organization’s working definition: “Sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.”

One of the wonderful movements in the public conversation (at least some domains) about sexuality is a recognition of the right to pleasure as an essential part of sexual health.